August 8, 2016
Oh you can have your Olympic Dreams, my friends. I instead will dream of gorgeous fried crusts and bread crumbs with a nice chewy piece of onion within. I go for the gold my friends, golden fried rings of vegetable! So good my friends, so good.
There are two basic kind of onion ring crusts.. the smooth kind with the beer batter, and the flaky kind with the crumbs and possibly beer batter as well. When I graduated college I was a huge fan and favored the smooth rings. Today I can go back and forth; what really counts isn't so much the crust as much as the inner onion. If that inner onion has major league flavor, it was cooked and sliced fresh the day of the fry. If its more bland, I feel like it was pre frozen or otherwise not in its natural element. There's a difference. I also like the rather big onion rings, the really thick ones that play out like a giant stewed onion within a battered shell -- something like that, it's delicious and almost like onion steak strips rolled into oops.
I remember after doing the US Open golf podcast with my friends John and Mike, we had a power outage in the neighborhood. Something about it seemed to make everything shaky with connections. I can't put a finger on it; in fact it might even be in my head.
When you take your car to get repairs and you leave it overnight, do you feel like you sent your kid to camp? You're sitting at home worried about it, completely not sure if it's safe. I can only imagine.
I added another entry to my paper blog which goes into this journal my mom gave me. It's a DITCOW exclusive... in fact it's so exclusive only I can read it. Maybe too exclusive. I doubt you're missing much. So far, all I'm doing is tweaking the fact that I'm writing jokes on paper.
Here's a sneak preview: My last entry was "Paper! Tell me how my mouse tastes?" It's stuff like that.
You would not believe what happened at Wendy's. I went over there one night, and it was a judgement call between walking the ten minutes or taking the car, and it was 9:45pm. Boy it was a good thing I took the car! As I pulled into the drive thru, a fiire truck parked INTO THE PARKING LOT behind me.. and the lot is so small that the fire truck was laid out all the way across. Then I heard some more sirens and while I was getting my food I could see the guy at the window looking so nervous; dude asked me *twice* if I wanted ketchup within the same conversation. I honestly don't know what happened. But as I pulled out, two firefighters and a bunch of other guys, cops, EMTs, whatever were about to surround some guy, maybe a homeless guy, at the patio table. The thing was *nuts*, man!
I got worried for a lot of reasons. It's not cool to be forcibly removed from any place by cops if there isn't due cause. On the other hand, restaurants have reasonable limits for loitering within a public space like that. You can't *camp* at Wendy's. So truthfully I had no idea what was going on. It really could have been anything, but they surely had a huge response underway. No force was used as I left, fortunately.
I think if my life truly hit rock bottom... I might think "oh I hit rock bottom" but no! I am thankful for full time work and an office at least. True rock bottom would be working at Jack in the Box... and my sympathies go to anyone obligated to serve there.
When I go to Jack in the Box... first of all I try that Coca Cola freestyle machine it is outstanding! The drink options are unending. Anyway, when I go there I am profuse in my gratitude towards the guys that serve me because I know they have a tough job. Not only the usual nonsense with picky customers, but more than other places, they have to deal with some sketchy people around and inside the restaurant. Some people at Jack in the Box are incredibly friendly taking my order, and even going the extra mile to make sure I have everything I need... ketchup, napkins, and all that. They deserve all our respect, those guys. Kudos to the Jack in the Box crew.
A couple louses I ran into once further down the street on Lincoln and I won't specify where, but you clowns know who you are. I do not know WHAT the heck they were watching on their ipad but some guy doing a sermon in Spanish and they watched in the kitchen... look, it was a slow day, and I don't want to be a captain no fun with teens in a restaurant, but that was outrageous. You're going to sit around and watch movies? That was not comfortable, put on some music or something at least... and turn on the PA so the regular music can be on for the rest of us. This was nearly a year ago now, so it's possible those jokers were fired. Onward.
I have genuine fears that one day I will snap like Michael Douglas' character did in "Falling Down" and just tear after EVERYBODY. But here's the kicker, at the end of the movie, he died. That's no way to go fellas.
So... I need to, more than ever, wring out the positive in every part of life. The sun will be up tomorrow, the olympics will be on the TV with swimming. The Dodgers get another chance to beat the Phillies. Now look at that! Life isn't so bad is it?
I tried some swim sprints recently to see just how far behind I am against the Olympians... and predictably, I have a long way to go, but for my lack of participation with a swim club lately I thought I did pretty well! A 50 yard sprint without a dive in 46 seconds... I know I can improve on that too by breathing less and keeping my head down more, stuff like that. I don't think I did a 46 in practice before... 48s and 49s yeah, but not 46. The adjustments to my "catch" are pretty good.
That tip came from Chloe Sutton, and it paid off big time. You can see all sorts of swim tips like that from the Chloe Sutton website: www.chloesutton.com .
I was telling anyone I could think of about Katie Ledecky's position for dominance this year and so far she has done wonderfully! Aced that 400m freestyle. Even did a great job in an unusual role within a 4 x 100 relay. A distance swimmer rarely does a 100 x 4 person relay. Tomorrow she'll go for the 200m but that's going to be touch. HOWEVER, there are still other events she can nail and I think she's going to just ca-rush people in that 8-free, i.e. 800m. It's an exciting time... and how about Lilly King laying the smack on that Russian lady and THEN backing it up by beating her in the 100 breaststroke last night. Do the dance! What a fantastic swim.
But the Russian lady, Yulia something, she had that look... it was like the perfect look of a movie villain. And, all controversy aside, she looks stunning, my goodness. What a gorgeous woman she is -- but she cheats! And at the end of the day a cheat is a cheat no matter how he or she looks.
But if she's thrown out of swimming, go do movies or something, she's got a face for the silver screen my friends.
I'm putting on the Swimming tomorrow with all my Rowdy friends, both him and Dan Hicks and we'll have a ball watching swimming that happened 8 hours ago on NBC. I think a side of onion rings would go great with that watch party don't you?
Michael Phelps has still got it am I right? But what on earth are those weird circles on his chest??? Til next time, fellas...