Blog: Nightly Juice

August 28, 2016

Ever have orange juice at night?  Oh, try it!  It's pretty refreshing.  You wouldn't believe how good it tastes.   I got a bad carton of it last week.  I bought "Florida's Natural" orange juice which over the years was good to me, but not this time.  The juice tastes bland and it has none of that sharp sweetness with a tang of tart I'm used to.  It's like when you get those extra large oranges that aren't fresh and it tastes like you're eating little water balloons they're so tasteless.

I'll opt for a better brand next time out.  Onward.


One time I went to the Coca Cola freestyle machine and thought I'd get clever and add orange flavor to my coke.  That did not taste good at all.   Orange is similar to cheese where I feel like adding it to anything can enhance the flavor, but coke is a notable exception.  Coke wants to be the star of the show, and having a strong flavor like orange try to coexist within a coke ended in cacophony.   It was like coke was fighting orange for their own soda dominance, rather than the two flavors complimenting each other.


I only realized this year the guy that does the Jack in the Box commercials was replaced.  The voice of the "Jack" character, who wears a giant clown ball over his head, is now this wimpy sounding guy.  It sounded JUST close enough to the original guy from the 90's with this witty sarcastic humor, but he has none of that wit or sarcasm or even panache with his voice.  The new guys' voice is a little more squealy but apparently close enough to the original for the Jack in the Box team to use.


I went to Souplantation the other day for that delicious BBQ Chicken Salad.  I saw some very noisy kids and their family in the line and I said "I better go find a table far away from them, let me try the tall table bar".  All of those jokers went to the tall table bar!!  it was a long table and apparently it was situated like a family table so everyone just sat right next to me.   I tried to give it my best shot but even with headphones on there was no avoiding all the noise.  Then little girls and boys would be crying off to the side by the beverage station.  It was various causes, maybe one of them fell or one of them didn't get his ice cream, I wouldn't know.   I picked a less desirable time to get lunch no?  I'll have to go later in the day to minimize child to crowd density.


Why does MTV still do the Video Music Awards when they stopped playing music videos?


One of the advantages of growing up is that you no are longer tasked to decipher the logic of nonsensical nursery rhymes like "This old man, he played six, he played knick-knack on my sticks."   None of that makes sense!


I think I figured out why controversy and trainwrecks are so popular in the media today.  I *know* guys who take great enjoyment in watching people get arrested or say stupid things that make everybody angry.   See, a lot of people in America like to watch people get in trouble!  Remember when you were in school and you had that "troublemaker" or whoever it was not write on the board right or yell at someone and they sent him to the principal.  Then the whole room got quiet and stared at the guy going to the principal.  Or, how about, when that one guy or girl peed one's pants?  Then everyone was like "oooh look at that guy who peed his pants."  That poor thing, why would we stare at that, he feels bad enough!


It took years of me wondering about these things, but it comes down to guys who LOVE to watch people get in trouble.    Oooh trouble!  You remember that whole thing when you were young.  And what got crowds together at school more than anything?  More than an assembly or a good student award or recess, any of those.   Remember what it was?  FIGHT!  FIGHT!  FIGHT!  People loved trouble!  ...but they hated **getting** in trouble, they much preferred to not have the responsibility and watch someone *else* get in trouble.


You ever see a nice picture from someone you know on Facebook, and then meet the same person later and go "that was a cool pic you put on facebook of x or y" and the person goes "well why didn't you 'like' it on facebook then?!" 


I had a strange weekend.   2/3rd of it was spent on my bed going in and out of sleep.  I was tired, fellas.   I don't really know what got me that tired, but there I was just lying down and dozing off.  It was a crazy scene.  Sunday morning, when I could have done laundry, I thought of going onto the bed to clear the spread for the laundry basket and as I went down I started to hug the pillows and then it was all over!  I was snuggling with the blankets in broad daylight, just like that, and took a one hour nap.   What a scene that was.


It almost seems as if the bed got this giant magnet and roped me into its trap.  Well played, you all.


Hope that was some good juice!  If you liked it, have some more.   Have a good day, everyone.


Blog: Jacob and Dave’s 2016 NFL Predictions

August 24, 2016

If you haven't heard this week's DITCOW podcast, go check it out first before reading this entry.   Here are the predictions we made on the podcast for the 2016 NFL Season.


Jacob's NFL Division Predictions

AFC East: Patriots
AFC North: Bengals
AFC South: Jaguars
AFC West: Broncos


NFC East: Cowboys
NFC North: Vikings
NFC South: Panthers
NFC West: Cardinals


Dave's NFL Division Predictions


AFC East: Patriots
AFC North: Bengals
AFC South: Colts
AFC West: Chiefs

NFC East: Cowboys
NFC North: Packers
NFC South: Panthers
NFC West: Cardinals

Playoff Predictions

Dave NFC: Panthers beat Packers
Dave AFC: Patriots beat Bengals
Dave Super Bowl: Panthers beat Patriots

Jacob NFC: Cardinals beat Vikings
Jacob AFC: Patriots beat Steelers
Jacob Super Bowl: Patriots beat Cardinals

Podcast: 2016 NFL Preview with Jacob Rosales (08-24-16)

August 24, 2016

Jacob Rosales joins Dave to preview the 2016 storylines, retiring NFL stars, and changing winds for many of the big teams in the league.  We preview all 32 NFL teams including the usual favorites like the Patriots, Packers, and Panthers.  We also look at the upstart teams including the Rams now in LA, Jaguars, Vikings, Raiders, and several others.  Finally we offer our "BOLD PREDICTIONS" plus NFC and AFC playoff predictions.

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Blog: Literally, a blog post

August 23, 2016

Today we speak of "tangibles."    And while we speak of tangibles, this blog entry is brought to you by Tangelos.



Do you think you have it made with oranges?   Try a tangelo... it will rock your world.  It is like comparing black and white TV to color.  Tangelos take the best of that orange taste and multiply it 3-fold.  It's amazing.   You can get tangelos at most grocery stores here in the west.  Enjoy.


So, tangibles.   I've heard a lot of women say that they did a lot of things literally, even if only some of those moments were tangible outcomes.  For instance, someone says "I'm literally a cheese sandwich."   Are you really?   I don't feel a cold firm texture from your edges.    I don't see two pieces of bread around you.     No big deal, though.   I think it's amusing to see the depths to which the injection of "literal" can invoke situations that aren't that literal.  I'm just as guilty.


I bet I could beat all those guys in the marathon if I had a bicycle.


There are a lot of shows on Netflix now, and we still call them "TV Shows."   What will happen when Netflix and sources like it *are* the networks?   Do we still call a TV a TV?   This is akin to the argument for making recordings.  Some guys still say they are "taping" a show or another event.   Yet, the use of actual tape is no longer.  That's some wild stuff, huh?


Last week there was a BIG power outage caused by a mylar baloon.  When it happened I heard a loud POW from the transformer, and neighbors went outside.  I went outside too, and looked down they alley, and this mylar baloon was wedged between two wires on the power pole.  What is that called?   "Telephone pole?"   It's the pole for the power lines.


I could not believe the power was back up in only two hours!  And it came on right as I was lighting the candles too, fitting.


What if you went up to ladies and bragged about your "power pole?"  Would that get them going?


It occurred to me my inordinate knowledge of game shows.  Of all the things to be an expert it's inane useless game shows.   What is my lot in life?   I can't write a program to save my life, but I can tell you exact cost of eggs on "the Price is Right."


Finally got to try the chicken and waffle breakfast at "Bru's Wiffle."  That happened on Saturday.   Good fun.  Good waffle.


You used to have to drive all the way to the middle of town for a waffle like that with crispy chicken.  There are a few such places right here in Santa Monica now!   Another one is Bruxie, a takeout place with fantastic chicken and waffles with some tremendous maple syrup.


The use of kale between all ingredients massively improved my well being.  I feel better, now.  Maybe it's psycological but I hear it's really good for the digestive system.  Peaches are too, by the way.


Dang peaches, sad news, and I knew it all along, we are now into the "peach mush" phase of peach season.  The ineveitable decline of peach quality nationwide as we head for Fall.   Peach lifers still tough out peach mush, but if you're only a casual fan, it's natural to move onto other fruit.  Strawberries are still in fine form however.


I just said I am feeling better these days but we had a notable exception last night, and I don't know if it was the orange juice I had, the grapes, or the chicken; maybe it was that mushy peach, but there was a full blown civil war going on in my body at 1am.   I woke up thinking it was 4am and looked over, only 1am!  That meant I was only asleep about an hour.  Unbelievable.  So we went over and let the battles play out in the bathroom.   I think it got ugly for a while but once the offensive front got going it settled down.   I had a moment where I thought it was more serious, like Chron's disease or some jazz, but I doubt it.  In fact, right afterward I felt great!   These things are bound to happen.  


Get yourself some organic fiber and go!  Have a great week everyone.



Podcast: College Football Preview 2016 with John and Ron (08-18-16)

August 18, 2016

We present our 2016 College Football Preview with John in CT and Ron in NJ.  We cover all of the FBS Conferences this year including the SEC, Pac 12, Big Ten, Big 12, and ACC, plus our Heisman Watch, a look at hot new coaching hires, and our College Football Playoff Predictions!

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Blog: False Start!

August 17, 2016

I spoke too soon regarding our 2016 College Football Preview Podcast.  Tonight, the show is on!   I confirmed availability for our college experts John and Ron.   Now on to some other thoughts...

Do some people, who aren't up on the Olympics, put on NBC and go "it's been the same show every day for a week!   When are they going to put the other shows back?"


To *truly* evaluate how good a place is to live, you really have to live there for a complete 12 month cycle.   When you think of it that way, most of the West Coast is doing pretty well.


If you kidnapped me and moved me to another state along the coast, even Nevada or Arizona -- ok not Arizona, way too hot -- but the other ones, I think I'd do all right.  I spent some summer weeks in Oregon last year.  I loved it.  But *now* I need to see Oregon in the winter, see if I'm ready for it.  I hear the climate doesn't get too extreme compared to the East.  Washington has "a lot of rain" they say but rain itself doesn't bother me a ton, I think that whole scene is overrated.   I *wish* I had rain.  I love rain.   It'd be great to have rain right now instead of these massive fires.


You know when they show diving on TV, the diver dries oneself with the tiny rag before he or she jumps off?   The *rag* is doing a dive of its own, but the evil part is it goes right onto the deck, splat!  That's gotta hurt!


I still can't believe I spent 26 dollars on 8 pieces of fried chicken last weekend.  Man I was steamed... went over there and tried to break it down and I could not see a scenario where 8 pieces of chicken was worth that much.  The place was Gus's down on Crenshaw.   I gave that menu a look... it is a such an inverse relationship:   usually buying chicken in bulk with no sides costs less, but not here... it is that weird anomaly where buying in bulk is MORE expensive!  I would be better off just getting the combo and even paying less for just as many pieces.  It was something like 22 for two 3 piece combos with two sides plus a side of bread each.  Unbelievable.   


So I took these overpriced chicken pieces into my car and I was so hungry I started eating each piece, one at a time and cot damn that chicken was so good.  It was spectacular... you know what Gus's fried chicken is?  It's a buffalo wing turned inside out is what it is.  They put the buffalo sauce on the chicken and THEN fry it, so the buffalo sauce is on the *inside*.  That first bite is unbelievable.


So I'm driving some more, I am going through Beverly Hills and I go after another piece, then another, then another, carefully grabbing each piece with one of those narrow ole napkins.  I didn't even get a piece of bread with this stuff, but so good, all of those pieces.  By the time I get home I was down to four pieces.  I settled down after that.


To counteract that colossal waste of money, albeit a very delicious one, I chose to buy some ingredients for a big pasta meal.   I got the usual De Cecco rigatoni, then the Bertolli tomato and basil pasta sauce, and this time out I got some hot italian turkey sausage, all of that together was under 11 dollars.   I cooked that on Tuesday, and had enough for three meals.   I usually foul up the sausage somehow with my cooking but *this* time it was right on.   The difference this time is that I got the instruction to spray the pan with oil rather than oil, and it was a great suggestion: the pam let the sausage links brown much more effectively.  The pasta was tremendous... I put more salt into the water before I boiled it, which helped achieve a better texture.   Not too underdone, it was the best pasta texture I ever made.


I am going to try to stretch that pasta into Thursday, and I believe I have enough for a Thursday night meal.


While all of that was happening, I went to Carl's Jr. and saw a 2 for $6.50 deal.   I could choose any two of four different kind of sandwiches.  This time out I selected the turkey burger and the bbq chicken sandwich.  Both of those were under 500 cals each and I had the turkey burger on Tuesday.  I put the BBQ chicken into the fridge and will have that Thursday.  I couldn't pass up such a good deal.   I went with the healthy sandwiches too!


I have to squeeze in some olympics commentary into one of my podcasts somewhere.  Maybe a complete recap will follow next week.


I did some hardcore reading to prepare for the College Football preview -- Coach and Canadian Karen went on vacation for 5 days solid, and in those five days I spent the majority of them studying college football information at home, and at Starbucks.  Starbucks certainly got to know me this weekend!   I was there on Monday night too finishing the last of the previews from my Athlon Sports College Preview magazine.  I really enjoyed that extensive solitude.   


I'm so pumped for college football to start, as we will reveal in the podcast tomorrow, there are a lot of exciting teams to watch and possibly some surprises on the way.  College Football is in such a great place.


More on that and other stuff as we go along.  Take care, all!




Blog: I Find Your Lack of Fizz Disturbing…

August 9, 2016

Check this out:  somewhere in this galaxy, far, far away, they sell a Pepsi "Energy Cola" themed on Darth Vader.   He's ready to turn you to the *dark* side of the soda.   

Ecto Cooler stands out as the best themed drink I know.   Hi-C scored with that one.


You ever have those Flinstones "Push-Up" pops?  Those babies were tangy.   The one problem I remember is that they melted so fast, but if you could dig into them early?  Oooh it was delicious.


Do you like raisins in your cereal?   It would be impossible to enjoy Raisin Bran without enjoying raisins.


I remember when Lincoln made bigger cars.  Those were good days.  I wanted to buy a Lincoln once, then I learned how comical their gas mileage was.  I believe it was around 10 miles per gallon.   That took me out of the running, but it was great to look at old cars with four doors that had all the handles in the middle.    It would be so easy to open the front door by mistake when you wanted the back door.   What in the world? 


You know what?   I think a lot of guys put out their own music videos and most of them make me laugh.  Hahahahahaha, I'm sorry you guys.   I remember going to a friend's party once, and the party was for one of HIS friends, in the hills by the valley along the streets.    He had this huge party to watch him in a hip hop music video he and some friends made.  Oh that thing was so bad ha ha ha.  It's a good thing I can't remember who the friend was because he is going to *kill* me.  BUT, all their buddies were in the room watching it so I couldn't laugh or anything.  It had some really glossy colors and terrible camera work.   Definitely reminded me of a Roxbury Brothers sketch on SNL or something but with hip hop.   I don't think it ended up on MTV.


This party happened a few years ago, and I remember some lady who seemed whacked out came up to us.  Haven't used a nickname in a while let's call her "the Sauce."  She seemed pretty sauced, whacked and slobbered on some level.   She kinda had the effect of a raisin herself: she lived a *life*.   Anyway, "the Sauce" was gracious enough, just a bit out there, and she claimed to all of us she was in an Offspring video, and some people were trying to find it on their phone.  I whip out my phone, punch up the video on youtube and if she's being honest **there was Saucy** dancing in some red white and blue bikini, and once she saw the clip she was tickled.  By party's end Saucy wasn't really walking, she was slithering on other people.  Girl was a mess, but she did have some fun stories!


I think we'll leave it at this, end the blog on a high note.   Til next time!

Blog: The Rings I Dream of Are Onion

August 8, 2016

Oh you can have your Olympic Dreams, my friends.  I instead will dream of gorgeous fried crusts and bread crumbs with a nice chewy piece of onion  within.   I go for the gold my friends, golden fried rings of vegetable!  So good my friends, so good.

There are two basic kind of onion ring crusts.. the smooth kind with the beer batter, and the flaky kind with the crumbs and possibly beer batter as well.    When I graduated college I was a huge fan and favored the smooth rings.  Today I can go back and forth; what really counts isn't so much the crust as much as the inner onion.   If that inner onion has major league flavor, it was cooked and sliced fresh the day of the fry.   If its more bland, I feel like it was pre frozen or otherwise not in its natural element.   There's a difference.  I also like the rather big onion rings, the really thick ones that play out like a giant stewed onion within a battered shell -- something like that, it's delicious and almost like onion steak strips rolled into oops.


I remember after doing the US Open golf podcast with my friends John and Mike, we had a power outage in the neighborhood.   Something about it seemed to make everything shaky with connections.  I can't put a finger on it; in fact it might even be in my head.


When you take your car to get repairs and you leave it overnight, do you feel like you sent your kid to camp?  You're sitting at home worried about it, completely not sure if it's safe.   I can only imagine.


I added another entry to my paper blog which goes into this journal my mom gave me.  It's a DITCOW exclusive... in fact it's so exclusive only I can read it.   Maybe too exclusive.   I doubt you're missing much.  So far, all I'm doing is tweaking the fact that I'm writing jokes on paper.


Here's a sneak preview:  My last entry was "Paper!  Tell me how my mouse tastes?"  It's stuff like that.


You would not believe what happened at Wendy's.  I went over there one night, and it was a judgement call between walking the ten minutes or taking the car, and it was 9:45pm.    Boy it was a good thing I took the car!  As I pulled into the drive thru, a fiire truck parked INTO THE PARKING LOT behind me.. and the lot is so small that the fire truck was laid out all the way across.  Then I heard some more sirens and while I was getting my food I could see the guy at the window looking so nervous; dude asked me *twice* if I wanted ketchup within the same conversation.   I honestly don't know what happened.  But as I pulled out, two firefighters and a bunch of other guys, cops, EMTs, whatever were about to surround some guy, maybe a homeless guy, at the patio table.   The thing was *nuts*, man!


I got worried for a lot of reasons.  It's not cool to be forcibly removed from any place by cops if there isn't due cause.  On the other hand, restaurants have reasonable limits for loitering within a public space like that.  You can't *camp* at Wendy's.   So truthfully I had no idea what was going on.   It really could have been anything, but they surely had a huge response underway.  No force was used as I left, fortunately.


I think if my life truly hit rock bottom... I might think "oh I hit rock bottom" but no!   I am thankful for full time work and an office at least.  True rock bottom would be working at Jack in the Box... and my sympathies go to anyone obligated to serve there.


When I go to Jack in the Box... first of all I try that Coca Cola freestyle machine it is outstanding!   The drink options are unending.   Anyway, when I go there I am profuse in my gratitude towards the guys that serve me because I know they have a tough job.   Not only the usual nonsense with picky customers, but more than other places, they have to deal with some sketchy people around and inside the restaurant.     Some people at Jack in the Box are incredibly friendly taking my order, and even going the extra mile to make sure I have everything I need... ketchup, napkins, and all that.  They deserve all our respect, those guys.  Kudos to the Jack in the Box crew.


....except...


A couple louses I ran into once further down the street on Lincoln and I won't specify where, but you clowns know who you are.  I do not know WHAT the heck they were watching on their ipad but some guy doing a sermon in Spanish and they watched in the kitchen... look, it was a slow day, and I don't want to be a captain no fun with teens in a restaurant, but that was outrageous.  You're going to sit around and watch movies?   That was not comfortable, put on some music or something at least... and turn on the PA so the regular music can be on for the rest of us.   This was nearly a year ago now, so it's possible those jokers were fired.  Onward.


I have genuine fears that one day I will snap like Michael Douglas' character did in "Falling Down"  and just tear after EVERYBODY.  But here's the kicker, at the end of the movie, he died.  That's no way to go fellas.


So... I need to, more than ever, wring out the positive in every part of life.   The sun will be up tomorrow, the olympics will be on the TV with swimming.  The Dodgers get another chance to beat the Phillies.   Now look at that!  Life isn't so bad is it?

I tried some swim sprints recently to see just how far behind I am against the Olympians... and predictably, I have a long way to go, but for my lack of participation with a swim club lately I thought I did pretty well!   A 50 yard sprint without a dive in 46 seconds...   I know I can improve on that too by breathing less and keeping my head down more, stuff like that.  I don't think I did a 46 in practice before... 48s and 49s yeah, but not 46.   The adjustments to my "catch" are pretty good.


That tip came from Chloe Sutton, and it paid off big time.   You can see all sorts of swim tips like that from the Chloe Sutton website: www.chloesutton.com .


I was telling anyone I could think of about Katie Ledecky's position for dominance this year and so far she has done wonderfully!  Aced that 400m freestyle.  Even did a great job in an unusual role within a 4 x 100 relay.   A distance swimmer rarely does a 100 x 4 person relay.    Tomorrow she'll go for the 200m but that's going to be touch.  HOWEVER, there are still other events she can nail and I think she's going to just ca-rush people in that 8-free, i.e. 800m.   It's an exciting time... and how about Lilly King laying the smack on that Russian lady and THEN backing it up by beating her in the 100 breaststroke last night.  Do the dance!  What a fantastic swim.


But the Russian lady, Yulia something, she had that look... it was like the perfect look of a movie villain.  And, all controversy aside, she looks stunning, my goodness.   What a gorgeous woman she is -- but she cheats!  And at the end of the day a cheat is a cheat no matter how he or she looks.


But if she's thrown out of swimming, go do movies or something, she's got a face for the silver screen my friends.


I'm putting on the Swimming tomorrow with all my Rowdy friends, both him and Dan Hicks and we'll have a ball watching swimming that happened 8 hours ago on NBC.  I think a side of onion rings would go great with that watch party don't you?


Michael Phelps has still got it am I right?   But what on earth are those weird circles on his chest???   Til next time, fellas...

Blog: Ten Minutes for Ten Dollars

August 4, 2016

First of all, thanks so much to John in CT and Mike in North NJ last night for a great golf spot.  That went much better than I hoped, and these guys are always good but last night it was just on another level.  The timing could not be better.

I've felt out of my element this whole week.   Most of it ties into losing my beloved "Mark in the Morning" radio show on 100.3 the Sound.  It just felt like it was too soon.  I wasn't ready to lose Mark yet.  We aren't done with that clown yet...  He'll be back, just on podcasts, and good on him!   You can see what he's up to at www.mandlstudios.com .


I have dreams of getting a following like that... thousands of people downloading my podcast and a couple dozen buying stuff on Amazon to help fund the production.   One thing I know about the most successful podcasts is that every single one of them: Marron, the NPR stuff, Serial, whatever it is comes from a company or personality that people already know from traditional media.  That's the part that sucks -- if you're an independent broadcaster with no such track record and not even a stake in local entertainment, how can anyone know about your show other than the dozens that know you as a friend and listen in? 


That was the fight for all of the 8 years we've done DITCOW so far.   We had moments... the MLB preview show we did last year had a whopping 600 hits on YouTube.  I was humbled by the popularity.   Something like that was my dream, but maybe every week.


Welp, I think the bottom line is, I need to physically go out and set up a table and promote the show the hard way.  Give out little stickers and business cards or something and tell people what this show is about.  It's not such an easy program to define.  We cover sports but we are a comedy show too.    It's not the sort of thing you can boil down to one sentence.  Junkie and I on the "Five Years of Random Questions" episode did a pretty good job capturing the theme of the show:  it would be akin to a sports talk program in reverse -->  instead of defining talking points and letting the callers just react to your points, we're making the callers be the host instead and doing the analysis, and I would bridge topics and facilitate.   For eight years the "reverse engineered sports talk" format was very listenable and the fans I do have really enjoyed what we brought to the table.  


Key to all of this is to utilize humor, and most of that is from the great collaborators.  I'm proud to do the DITCOW program and the low operating costs keep it a tenable, long term, ongoing project that improves each year.   I pondered spinning off the "Random Quesitons" segment into its own podcast feed to see if people would enjoy the condensed format of general life conversation.   This may happen but with a limited inventory.   Two doezn such "RQ only" shows are in place and ready.   I can go through the archives and bring up every one leading into this year's shows.


For now DITCOW is the program of record...   losing a radio legend from the LA airwaves has one thinking of the viability of his or her own program, and I didn't know how much longer I wanted to do a show myself, but credit to John and Mike, their enthusiasm, expertise, and incredible on air personality inspired me to get that "second wind."


John and Mike, my thanks.  And I hope this passage was worth "ten dollars" of your time.  Cheers!

Podcast: 2016 PGA Championship Recap w/ John & Mike (08-03-16)

August 3, 2016

John in CT and Mike in North NJ join Dave to recap Jimmy Walker's wire-to-wire PGA Championship Tournament win at Baltusrol Country Club in NJ.   Later, a look at the golf year in review, a stunning announcement from Nike Golf, a preview of the Traverler's Championship, and another look at golf in the Olympics.

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