Dave in the City out West (DITCOW)

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Entries from August 2016

Blog: I Find Your Lack of Fizz Disturbing…

August 9th, 2016 · Comments

Check this out:  somewhere in this galaxy, far, far away, they sell a Pepsi "Energy Cola" themed on Darth Vader.   He's ready to turn you to the *dark* side of the soda.   

Ecto Cooler stands out as the best themed drink I know.   Hi-C scored with that one.


You ever have those Flinstones "Push-Up" pops?  Those babies were tangy.   The one problem I remember is that they melted so fast, but if you could dig into them early?  Oooh it was delicious.


Do you like raisins in your cereal?   It would be impossible to enjoy Raisin Bran without enjoying raisins.


I remember when Lincoln made bigger cars.  Those were good days.  I wanted to buy a Lincoln once, then I learned how comical their gas mileage was.  I believe it was around 10 miles per gallon.   That took me out of the running, but it was great to look at old cars with four doors that had all the handles in the middle.    It would be so easy to open the front door by mistake when you wanted the back door.   What in the world? 


You know what?   I think a lot of guys put out their own music videos and most of them make me laugh.  Hahahahahaha, I'm sorry you guys.   I remember going to a friend's party once, and the party was for one of HIS friends, in the hills by the valley along the streets.    He had this huge party to watch him in a hip hop music video he and some friends made.  Oh that thing was so bad ha ha ha.  It's a good thing I can't remember who the friend was because he is going to *kill* me.  BUT, all their buddies were in the room watching it so I couldn't laugh or anything.  It had some really glossy colors and terrible camera work.   Definitely reminded me of a Roxbury Brothers sketch on SNL or something but with hip hop.   I don't think it ended up on MTV.


This party happened a few years ago, and I remember some lady who seemed whacked out came up to us.  Haven't used a nickname in a while let's call her "the Sauce."  She seemed pretty sauced, whacked and slobbered on some level.   She kinda had the effect of a raisin herself: she lived a *life*.   Anyway, "the Sauce" was gracious enough, just a bit out there, and she claimed to all of us she was in an Offspring video, and some people were trying to find it on their phone.  I whip out my phone, punch up the video on youtube and if she's being honest **there was Saucy** dancing in some red white and blue bikini, and once she saw the clip she was tickled.  By party's end Saucy wasn't really walking, she was slithering on other people.  Girl was a mess, but she did have some fun stories!


I think we'll leave it at this, end the blog on a high note.   Til next time!

Tags: Blog

Blog: The Rings I Dream of Are Onion

August 8th, 2016 · Comments

Oh you can have your Olympic Dreams, my friends.  I instead will dream of gorgeous fried crusts and bread crumbs with a nice chewy piece of onion  within.   I go for the gold my friends, golden fried rings of vegetable!  So good my friends, so good.

There are two basic kind of onion ring crusts.. the smooth kind with the beer batter, and the flaky kind with the crumbs and possibly beer batter as well.    When I graduated college I was a huge fan and favored the smooth rings.  Today I can go back and forth; what really counts isn't so much the crust as much as the inner onion.   If that inner onion has major league flavor, it was cooked and sliced fresh the day of the fry.   If its more bland, I feel like it was pre frozen or otherwise not in its natural element.   There's a difference.  I also like the rather big onion rings, the really thick ones that play out like a giant stewed onion within a battered shell -- something like that, it's delicious and almost like onion steak strips rolled into oops.


I remember after doing the US Open golf podcast with my friends John and Mike, we had a power outage in the neighborhood.   Something about it seemed to make everything shaky with connections.  I can't put a finger on it; in fact it might even be in my head.


When you take your car to get repairs and you leave it overnight, do you feel like you sent your kid to camp?  You're sitting at home worried about it, completely not sure if it's safe.   I can only imagine.


I added another entry to my paper blog which goes into this journal my mom gave me.  It's a DITCOW exclusive... in fact it's so exclusive only I can read it.   Maybe too exclusive.   I doubt you're missing much.  So far, all I'm doing is tweaking the fact that I'm writing jokes on paper.


Here's a sneak preview:  My last entry was "Paper!  Tell me how my mouse tastes?"  It's stuff like that.


You would not believe what happened at Wendy's.  I went over there one night, and it was a judgement call between walking the ten minutes or taking the car, and it was 9:45pm.    Boy it was a good thing I took the car!  As I pulled into the drive thru, a fiire truck parked INTO THE PARKING LOT behind me.. and the lot is so small that the fire truck was laid out all the way across.  Then I heard some more sirens and while I was getting my food I could see the guy at the window looking so nervous; dude asked me *twice* if I wanted ketchup within the same conversation.   I honestly don't know what happened.  But as I pulled out, two firefighters and a bunch of other guys, cops, EMTs, whatever were about to surround some guy, maybe a homeless guy, at the patio table.   The thing was *nuts*, man!


I got worried for a lot of reasons.  It's not cool to be forcibly removed from any place by cops if there isn't due cause.  On the other hand, restaurants have reasonable limits for loitering within a public space like that.  You can't *camp* at Wendy's.   So truthfully I had no idea what was going on.   It really could have been anything, but they surely had a huge response underway.  No force was used as I left, fortunately.


I think if my life truly hit rock bottom... I might think "oh I hit rock bottom" but no!   I am thankful for full time work and an office at least.  True rock bottom would be working at Jack in the Box... and my sympathies go to anyone obligated to serve there.


When I go to Jack in the Box... first of all I try that Coca Cola freestyle machine it is outstanding!   The drink options are unending.   Anyway, when I go there I am profuse in my gratitude towards the guys that serve me because I know they have a tough job.   Not only the usual nonsense with picky customers, but more than other places, they have to deal with some sketchy people around and inside the restaurant.     Some people at Jack in the Box are incredibly friendly taking my order, and even going the extra mile to make sure I have everything I need... ketchup, napkins, and all that.  They deserve all our respect, those guys.  Kudos to the Jack in the Box crew.


....except...


A couple louses I ran into once further down the street on Lincoln and I won't specify where, but you clowns know who you are.  I do not know WHAT the heck they were watching on their ipad but some guy doing a sermon in Spanish and they watched in the kitchen... look, it was a slow day, and I don't want to be a captain no fun with teens in a restaurant, but that was outrageous.  You're going to sit around and watch movies?   That was not comfortable, put on some music or something at least... and turn on the PA so the regular music can be on for the rest of us.   This was nearly a year ago now, so it's possible those jokers were fired.  Onward.


I have genuine fears that one day I will snap like Michael Douglas' character did in "Falling Down"  and just tear after EVERYBODY.  But here's the kicker, at the end of the movie, he died.  That's no way to go fellas.


So... I need to, more than ever, wring out the positive in every part of life.   The sun will be up tomorrow, the olympics will be on the TV with swimming.  The Dodgers get another chance to beat the Phillies.   Now look at that!  Life isn't so bad is it?

I tried some swim sprints recently to see just how far behind I am against the Olympians... and predictably, I have a long way to go, but for my lack of participation with a swim club lately I thought I did pretty well!   A 50 yard sprint without a dive in 46 seconds...   I know I can improve on that too by breathing less and keeping my head down more, stuff like that.  I don't think I did a 46 in practice before... 48s and 49s yeah, but not 46.   The adjustments to my "catch" are pretty good.


That tip came from Chloe Sutton, and it paid off big time.   You can see all sorts of swim tips like that from the Chloe Sutton website: www.chloesutton.com .


I was telling anyone I could think of about Katie Ledecky's position for dominance this year and so far she has done wonderfully!  Aced that 400m freestyle.  Even did a great job in an unusual role within a 4 x 100 relay.   A distance swimmer rarely does a 100 x 4 person relay.    Tomorrow she'll go for the 200m but that's going to be touch.  HOWEVER, there are still other events she can nail and I think she's going to just ca-rush people in that 8-free, i.e. 800m.   It's an exciting time... and how about Lilly King laying the smack on that Russian lady and THEN backing it up by beating her in the 100 breaststroke last night.  Do the dance!  What a fantastic swim.


But the Russian lady, Yulia something, she had that look... it was like the perfect look of a movie villain.  And, all controversy aside, she looks stunning, my goodness.   What a gorgeous woman she is -- but she cheats!  And at the end of the day a cheat is a cheat no matter how he or she looks.


But if she's thrown out of swimming, go do movies or something, she's got a face for the silver screen my friends.


I'm putting on the Swimming tomorrow with all my Rowdy friends, both him and Dan Hicks and we'll have a ball watching swimming that happened 8 hours ago on NBC.  I think a side of onion rings would go great with that watch party don't you?


Michael Phelps has still got it am I right?   But what on earth are those weird circles on his chest???   Til next time, fellas...

Tags: Blog

Blog: Ten Minutes for Ten Dollars

August 4th, 2016 · Comments

First of all, thanks so much to John in CT and Mike in North NJ last night for a great golf spot.  That went much better than I hoped, and these guys are always good but last night it was just on another level.  The timing could not be better.

I've felt out of my element this whole week.   Most of it ties into losing my beloved "Mark in the Morning" radio show on 100.3 the Sound.  It just felt like it was too soon.  I wasn't ready to lose Mark yet.  We aren't done with that clown yet...  He'll be back, just on podcasts, and good on him!   You can see what he's up to at www.mandlstudios.com .


I have dreams of getting a following like that... thousands of people downloading my podcast and a couple dozen buying stuff on Amazon to help fund the production.   One thing I know about the most successful podcasts is that every single one of them: Marron, the NPR stuff, Serial, whatever it is comes from a company or personality that people already know from traditional media.  That's the part that sucks -- if you're an independent broadcaster with no such track record and not even a stake in local entertainment, how can anyone know about your show other than the dozens that know you as a friend and listen in? 


That was the fight for all of the 8 years we've done DITCOW so far.   We had moments... the MLB preview show we did last year had a whopping 600 hits on YouTube.  I was humbled by the popularity.   Something like that was my dream, but maybe every week.


Welp, I think the bottom line is, I need to physically go out and set up a table and promote the show the hard way.  Give out little stickers and business cards or something and tell people what this show is about.  It's not such an easy program to define.  We cover sports but we are a comedy show too.    It's not the sort of thing you can boil down to one sentence.  Junkie and I on the "Five Years of Random Questions" episode did a pretty good job capturing the theme of the show:  it would be akin to a sports talk program in reverse -->  instead of defining talking points and letting the callers just react to your points, we're making the callers be the host instead and doing the analysis, and I would bridge topics and facilitate.   For eight years the "reverse engineered sports talk" format was very listenable and the fans I do have really enjoyed what we brought to the table.  


Key to all of this is to utilize humor, and most of that is from the great collaborators.  I'm proud to do the DITCOW program and the low operating costs keep it a tenable, long term, ongoing project that improves each year.   I pondered spinning off the "Random Quesitons" segment into its own podcast feed to see if people would enjoy the condensed format of general life conversation.   This may happen but with a limited inventory.   Two doezn such "RQ only" shows are in place and ready.   I can go through the archives and bring up every one leading into this year's shows.


For now DITCOW is the program of record...   losing a radio legend from the LA airwaves has one thinking of the viability of his or her own program, and I didn't know how much longer I wanted to do a show myself, but credit to John and Mike, their enthusiasm, expertise, and incredible on air personality inspired me to get that "second wind."


John and Mike, my thanks.  And I hope this passage was worth "ten dollars" of your time.  Cheers!

Tags: Blog

Podcast: 2016 PGA Championship Recap w/ John & Mike (08-03-16)

August 3rd, 2016 · Comments

John in CT and Mike in North NJ join Dave to recap Jimmy Walker's wire-to-wire PGA Championship Tournament win at Baltusrol Country Club in NJ.   Later, a look at the golf year in review, a stunning announcement from Nike Golf, a preview of the Traverler's Championship, and another look at golf in the Olympics.

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Tags: Podcast