Dave in the City out West (DITCOW)

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Blog: The Tikka Masala Incident; Android Traitor

March 22nd, 2016

I was at a staff lunch recently where they had chicken tikka masala on the menu.  My friends, tikka masala is quite good!   You'll see it at many Indian restaurants.  Tremendous, really.   The chef gave me the chance to take it, but I also had the alternate choice of falafel with pita bread or another alternate of grilled ribeye with onion rings.  What a spot!  I needed a moment to think about it, but my heart was pushing towards the masala.

I stepped aside let some people pass and the chef, really nice guy, quite friendly, was busy helping them out.   I thought it over and said "you know what?  We're getting the masala."   I went back into the small queue to get it, but here's the crazy part.  Would you believe, the manager guy with the nice sweater vest and tie stepped in to help out?  While that was nice of him to help I said "oh here we go, its the manager dude, sweater guy is going to stinge on my portions."   But I was in queue I couldn't wait that out any further so I went with it.  Little surprise: the man was practically counting the rice grains for the bed and scraping every so gingerly on the chicken morsels.  Blast!   I got a small portion of the masala, still good, but not as large as the mounds of meat I saw on other peoples' plates.

I really blew it that day.   I knew that the chef was going to hook it up and he was still very friendly to the end, and even the manager was a nice guy, but he was still a manager and wanted to economize.   It was my error, I took too long to commit.  We call this in our parts: first world problems.

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I'm a traitor.  I was Anti-Apple for years, vehemently anti-Apple for some of those years.   Then I got the iPad mini.  Things changed.   I learned, "damn, this thing is pretty good!  Fewer delays, better interface, the thing just works."   After a while, it was time to replace the phone and my Samsung Galaxy S4 choked to death.  I had to take the battery out and put it back in to revive it on numerous occasions.  The storage space was comical.  only 16GB for which 10GB were taken by "other files".  What the hell were these "other files anyway?"  What a pile of rubble that was.   I now have converted, effectively to another technology religion... its an odd feeling, but the quality of the iPhone makes it so satisfying.  The new phone is an iPhone 6s with 64GB of storage.  In the early going it runs like a champ.  I'll report back to you in a few years with how it holds up.

My Citi "Forward" card sets me *back* every month.   Not a clever name for the thing.

I can't remember if I spoke of cars on here recently, but during my unplanned hiatus from the blog I really learned a lot about cars.  I want a new car.   The camry is still working fine and it serves my purpose of getting me to other places.   It's not stylish though, and 183 horsepower, while great for a Camry isn't my style.  I want an engine baby!   I gotta get into the meat engines.   This is another heel turn.  Five years ago I thought I could get by on two Toyota Camrys over 60 years.   I crave more excitement out of the car now... I cant settle for just a Camry!  but I can do the next best thing.............. Lexus!

The happy intersection of reliability and performance.   Luxurious besides.  If you're a car dealer reading this, I am looking for a 2011 or newer Lexus IS 350 sedan .  It's got to have that 6 cylinder engine.  I'll never get back to that v8 on the 'vette I once drove, but certainly a car this new and this powerful will fit the bill.    If a man can dream, he also will dream of the Mark Levinson sound system upgrade.  Boy would I like that.  

Ever notice they don't give cars like that away on "The Price is Right?"  I know exactly why that was, but the fact remains, Lexus would have me jumping up and down way more than a gas hog Escalade or a crap Chevy Aveo.   Who could go out in public and admit they have a Chevy Aveo?  You can't show that thing on the street can you?!   I'd suspect guys who would be in line for an Aveo would split the difference and get a old Corolla instead.  Even the ones who need a cheap small car... take in a 20 year old Saturn, or even the Neon. 

Just imagine, that moment I was called up on stage for getting the price right and they open those fancy doors to reveal a Chevy Aveo.  I wouldn't jump... I wouldn't even smile.  I would throw the game.  I would pick 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 in that order for "Any Number."  I would write 27, 277, 2777, 27777, 277777, 277778 etc for "Ten Chances".  I would hit on 17 for "Hit Me".  I would never take the eggs when playing "Hole in One or Two".

Anyway, you get the idea, get a Honda Fit instead, or maybe that new Fiat thing, whatever its called.

I had no idea just how popular "Dancing with the Stars" was.  It just takes over the entire country.

Somebody suggested a while ago I just print out my blog and read it in front of people at comedy clubs. 

I put a big ole spoonful of canned peaches next to the tikka masala on the plate.  We're so close to a new Peach season, and I've missed the fresh ones so much. 

Did you get your butt handed to you by the Daylight Savings time change too?  It has saved me nothing. 

Hopefully one day we'll all be awarded sleep savings time.  That's an investment long overdue am I right??

More to come next time, all the best fellas.